A Dodgy Ru and a Stuffed Nan

Post by Gerry McDonnell

In a week exactly where Mohammed Al Fayed has pointed an accusing finger at Tony Blair, the Nazis, Dracula and a crocodile, it seems odd that Richard Scudamore has emerged as football’s top figure of exciting.

When a pal informed me that Scudamore planned to play a spherical of matches abroad, I believed it was the worst notion I’d at any time heard – and I utilised to operate in a nursery. I say ‘worked’, but it went down as ‘loitering’ on the charge sheet.

The Chief Executive of the Premier League seems to have been influenced by Gordon Gekko’s ‘Greed is good’ monologue from ‘Wall Street’. I’d advise Scudamore in opposition to following in the footsteps of Michael Douglas, as he may well have to fight off Welsh gold-diggers. Investing in the eight/eleven for a Pompey win above Sunderland is a socially acceptable way of rising your bankroll.

The notion of 10 matches becoming televised again-to-back truly worries me, as I ritualistically indulge in a couple of beers during a game. There’s no way I’ll be ready to drink 20 pints, unless of course i have to shell out a night time with Kelly Osbourne. I will happily indulge in a celebratory few when Middlesbrough stun Liverpool at 17/two.

Sir Alex Ferguson condemned his players for showboating in very last week’s FA Cup victory about Arsenal, but the unsavoury incident could have been a whole lot even worse. Apparently, Wayne Rooney the moment held it up with Nani for over two minutes. I’ll absolutely be spending for it if Manchester United fail to defeat the depleted Toon Army at 8/15.

When it arrives to cool superstar support, Everton are way behind the likes of Manchester Metropolis. The Toffeemen experimented with to persuade Sylvester Stallone to give soccer a check out, but he couldn’t pull it off, which is really ironic. I’ll happily play with the nine/four for a draw amongst Manchester Metropolis and Everton.

Blackburn and Bolton have contested the mushy pea derby on thirteen events in the Premier League, and the group playing at property has by no means emerged victorious. I’m heading to lay Blackburn at ten/11 like it was a legless lady in a nightclub. That Heather Mills certainly knows how to celebrate.

I uncover the political arena virtually solely dull, but the revelation that the Home Secretary is an avid Aston Villa supporter truly attracted my curiosity. I have practically nothing but admiration for the way that Jacqui Smith can juggle her secretarial work with her homemaker duties. I hope she finds the time to again the Villa versus Studying at a delightful seven/5.

Playing a property match against Derby is like going on a date with Paris Hilton, you’re self-confident that they’ll roll over with no a lot of a battle. Wigan are the lucky beneficiaries of three effortless factors at 8/thirteen.

There is a direct correlation in between a club’s support and the coolness of the team’s nickname. Aston Villa are the evil Villans, Tottenham are the boiling Spuds and Manchester United are the Red Devils. Who in their correct thoughts would choose to be a Cottager? Ashley Cole is aware that West Ham are a fantastic wager at 9/five to beat Fulham.

The bigwigs at Chelsea are still understandably upset right after a package deal made up of white powder was delivered to their training ground. They’ve now ordered Frank Lampard to use sugar sachets like the relaxation of the squad.

The last time Chelsea met Tottenham in a cup match, an irate Spud attacked Frank, which is the real definition of irony. Chelsea arrived out on top on that occasion and I can only see a repeat at eleven/10 in the Carling Cup final.

The a lot more i contemplate the possible rewards of the globalisation of the Premier League, the a lot more desirable the thought turns into. The Chinese would be in a position to relegate the ping-pong ball to a late night amusement spot, Australians could embrace a activity that doesn’t involve shearing, and the Yanks would find out that real footballers refuse to wrap up like a suicide bomber in winter. I’ll be going off on a single if Arsenal fail to beat Birmingham at eight/15.

There is at the moment an incredible amount of opposition to Scudamore’s thought-provoking proposal, but nothing is insurmountable with the clear exception of Ruby Wax. Wigan, Manchester United, Chelsea and Aston Villa kind an 11/one accer that will ideally take away that ghastly image from my not long ago tortured mind’s eye.

About the Writer

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.