Wayne drops keep falling on my head

Write-up by Gerry McDonnell

I am no stranger to a lazy stereotype. I am fifty percent-Irish and I’m married to a Scot, so some people believe we keep at house all day cigarette smoking crack and peeling potatoes which is only fifty percent accurate.

It could be even worse however, I could be bald. Britney Spears was regarded as a wholesome entertainer when she had flowing locks but the minute she showed solidarity with the follicly challenged, the authorities took her children away.

It really is not just tubby Americans who persecute the hairless. When Andy Johnson had a tiny decoration on his head, he was awarded penalties and his ambitions were permitted to stand now he’s shunned like Lewis Hamilton on a weekend trip to Majorca.

Personally I assume it’s a scenario of raging gingerism, as baldness is their only genuine hope of a daily life totally free or mockery. I’ll make a stand towards these peladophobic gingerphobes by supporting AJ’s Everton at four/seven in opposition to a struggling Looking at.

Ryan Babel is another participant who deserves our sympathy. Rafa perplexingly continues to bench the flying Dutchman: the only way he’ll be promoted to a starter is if he bumps into Frank Lampard. Chelsea will devour the struggling Reds at a mouthwatering 11/10.

Harry Redknapp has hit the jackpot with the signing of Jermain Defoe. The Pompey manager is just like King Midas – it’s considered that the King’s son was a actual nause. I’ll be droning on endlessly about the 9/4 for a draw in between Bolton and Portsmouth.

Derby have been a lot much less successful with their attempts at January purchasing. Paul Jewell signed Laurent Robert on a totally free transfer I feel he overpaid. Tottenham are the weekend banker at 8/thirteen towards the awful Rams.

Birmingham had been dealt a knockout blow by a player named Villa final week, so it was a normal Derby match. It’s just one particular win in eleven matches now for the Blues West Ham appear a great shout at 17/twenty to increase the pressure on the Massive Eck.

Premier League attendances now common 36,000 a match, which is a fifty 12 months large. The figure would have threatened the 40,000 mark, if it wasn’t for Middlesbrough. One particular man and his dog will see Boro ruin Fulham at ten/11.

Roy Keane will be looking ahead to reuniting with Steve Bruce, as they haven’t seen every single other considering that filming Cinderella. I’ll flip into a pumpkin if Sunderland fail to oblige towards Wigan at 23/20.

The reduction of Agbonlahor will be a massive blow for Aston Villa. Gabby has aggravated a hamstring – he accidentally knocked his pint over. The return of Youthful will soften the blow for the Villans the tactically shrewd Martin O’Neill will bamboozle Kevin Keegan’s Toon Army at 10/eleven.

A hamstring injury has also ruled the influential Tomas Rosicky out of Arsenal’s match in opposition to Blackburn. Rosicky is known as ‘little Mozart’, because of to his ability to orchestrate the midfield. Personally, I’m a huge fan of Chopin: I typically purchase a huge bag of potatoes. I can undoubtedly handle the four/eleven for an Arsenal win above Blackburn.

Right after a protracted saga, Manchester Town have eventually signed Benjani, and I can claim with small worry of contradiction that Pompey’s loss is Manchester City’s loss. An Elano-much less, Benjani-complete Metropolis will almost certainly shed out to Manchester United at 1/three.

Wayne Rooney will pass up the Manchester derby following obtaining a booking for hurling his significant fat to the floor previous week in an alleged act of simulation. Rooney would never cheat, so I can only conclude that the referee cautioned him for his ginger stubble and an more and more receding hairline. Aston Villa, Tottenham, Everton, Middlesbrough and West Ham sort not only an exceptional sixteen/one accer it’s also a symbol of hope for our continually oppressed pool-ball headed brothers.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.