Let’s all do the Bart Man

Article by Gerry McDonnell

Ignorance is not automatically bliss. I’ve recently discovered that binge drinking can lead to long-phrase well being troubles, this kind of as crabs and Chlamydia.

The arrival of a new 12 months offers me the option to reflect upon my prior excessive and resolve to make a important transform. I have produced a solemn pledge to drink no much more than the subsequent guy as lengthy as the gentleman up coming to me is Joey Barton.

I wish that Joey has used his time in custody productively, and has questioned the wisdom of some of his previously decisions. He need to by no means have taken suggestions on eating etiquette from Lee Bowyer.

A resource close to Sam Allardyce has advised me that Nicky Butt is incredibly disappointed in his teammate’s behaviour, and will be acquiring a tranquil little phrase in his ear to remind him of his responsibilities. Just when Joey believed things couldn’t get any worse, he now has a sore Butt to contend with. I’ll happily pounce on the 11/eight for a Newcastle win above Stoke.

Lee Hughes can empathise with the Barton scenario, as he has also returned to football after finishing a stretch. “I was touching my toes every single night,” bragged the ginger fitness fanatic.

A lot of people had been disappointed with Oldham’s decision to utilize Hughes on his release, but Andy Johnson continues to be fully supportive he’s even promised to make an ‘A’ sign if he scores a goal. Everton will run above an outclassed Oldham at 1/4.

Manchester United supporters often get pleasure from their trip to the midlands for their standard FA Cup third round meeting with Aston Villa. Not only have they noticed their team emerge victorious on every single of their very last eight visits, it’s also a shorter journey than they’re accustomed to. I am absolutely overjoyed with the prospect of 10/11 for yet another Manchester United win.

Steve Bruce in comparison buying gamers in January to acquiring puppies at Christmas, “You have to make positive it really is extended phrase and for the proper good reasons,” lectured the pugnacious supervisor. I’ll definitely be acquiring my fingers on a couple of puppies if Sunderland end Wigan’s campaign at five/4.

An apoplectic Juande Ramos threatened to completely dismantle the Spurs crew following they misplaced to Aston Villa in midweek. I completely anticipate to see a superhuman energy from the Tottenham gamers following the manager’s tirade. They can be heroes, just for Juande. Tottenham will repeat final week’s victory above Looking at at eight/15.

Freddie Ljungberg is nevertheless suffering from migraines. My wife can entirely sympathise with the Swede, she’s had a recurring headache for five many years. I will be obtaining my fingers on the six/four for a West Ham win more than Manchester Town.

Mark Hughes appears to be ready to release Robbie Savage. The Blackburn manager stated that Robbie ‘doesn’t take not taking part in very well’ and added that Savage was ‘frustrated’. That’s just a fancy way of confirming what we by now suspected. I’ll be furiously pounding the 2/five for a Blackburn win more than Coventry.

Coventry could do with a respectable cup run, as they nonetheless encounter the risk of liquidation. That ought to be 1 large blender. Burnley face an absolute shoeing at the hands of Arsenal, I am taking an involvement at two/5.

QPR have some critical economic clout in the boardroom. Lakshmi Mittal could acquire and promote Roman Abramovich like a cheap blonde, even though Mark Hughes is now attempting to flood the industry. Backing Chelsea to beat QPR at 1/six will lead to modest financial development.

The ‘romance of the cup’ might be a clich√©, but I genuinely fancy Sheffield Wednesday to pull off an upset versus Derby at seven/two. In truth, it will be much more of a shock if they do not.

Amazingly, I was once accused of becoming unromantic. This allegation is a full fabrication. Even when consuming heavily, i’ll always spend for a lady’s kebab just before introducing her to the tiny G. If Tottenham, West Ham, Arsenal and Newcastle land a ten/one weekend accer, I’ll even think about throwing in a small chips.

About the Writer

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.