Aston Villa Files Emergency Medical Donor Application

Post by Captain Git

Aston Villa filed a donor application these days at an unnamed hospital soon after getting its ass fully and utterly destroyed by Chelsea. The match has left Villa with out an ass for the immediate long term. The game that noticed the thorough shredding of Villa’s ass until its eventual vaporization, ended 7-one in favor of Chelsea.

Villa players have been discovered strolling about in a fugue state, with excrement dripping from their bloody orifices. It has been surmised that this state will proceed until eventually the emergency medical method can be done. Villa are assured that their application will be successful.

The English FA, nevertheless, are doubtful that the application would be accepted really as easily as Villa hope as the method will involve at least 20 gamers as effectively as the manager and the coaching staff – and that is not counting microscopic surgical procedure to medically extract albumen and yolk from Martin O’Neill’s visage.

The primary concern is the logistics involved in obtaining the 20 one thing asses that will be in a issue appropriate for a footballer. A medical spokesperson stated that there is a shortage of athletic asses in the region accessible for transplant. “We just can’t slap some body fat person’s ass on a footballer, can we?” He stated, “The quantity of skin and blubber trailing behind a player would be like a wedding train.”

“The circumstance is much more crucial than we originally assumed,” stressed the spokesman,”Not a lot of folks put ass on their donor record. We might have to look for donors beyond UK and not care about asses matching the race of the recipient. We could have gamers with patchwork asses if we are effective but at least, they possess asses. Although, to be fully truthful, I am not hopeful at all. So, unless of course we out of the blue get donors who have asses to spare, Aston Villa is screwed.”

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